Pre-Schooler

Happy girl!

The first six weeks of her post-uteran life passed like an eternity for me. It was as if God wanted to erase every pre-Chamina memory I ever had in as short a time as possible. Constant worry, no sleep, and a complete and utter feeling of incompetence (did I mention no sleep?) made me wonder why in the world I ever wanted to have a baby in the first place. But time is kind, and after I emerged from my cocoon of "What has happened to my world?" bewilderment; life with her began to be... well, there's nothing like it. I wonder if there is any parent who doesn't look around from time to time and wonder at the sublime madness that is parenthood. I'm not even talking just about parents of young children, I'm also including those parents who have 18, 21, 31 year olds, who never seem to be able to stop worrying whether their kids are okay. I know I'm going to be one of them someday.

I worry when she doesn't tiptoe into our room at 2 in the morning, whispering "M-mo-mmy" plaintively and dragging her stuffed toy and pillow before snuggling into her cozy, makeshift bed on the floor next to our bed. I wait for those sounds nightly, and when they don't happen, I have to get out of bed just to check on her and see if she's alright. She always is, but I always check anyway.

I know I will have to change, even as she changes, our routines never quite staying the same long enough for me to get comfortable. My pre-Chamina memories have come back to me (maybe not as sharp and intact as they once were), but they seem more distant somehow. They serve to ward off senility and remind me how much I have to be thankful for now... especially for one little preschooler (and her faithful dog).

It doesn't look like it but they're playing, I swear!